The Matriarch

The Matriarch: Roots, Wisdom & the Woman Who Held Us is a heartfelt conversation honoring the life, strength, sacrifice, and legacy of a grandmother whose love helped shape generations. In this special episode, we sit down to reflect on family, motherhood, resilience, values, and the quiet wisdom that often carries a home through every season. Tender, powerful, and deeply rooted, this is a tribute to the women who held us, guided us, and left their fingerprints on everything we are becoming.

Life doesn’t come with a manual but it does come with moments that shape us.

Growing WildFlowers is a podcast for parents, partners, and people doing their best to grow something meaningful in the middle of real life. We talk love, parenting, marriage, culture, and the beautifully messy moments in between. With honest conversations, shared stories, and gentle reminders that growth isn’t always loud, but it’s always happening.

• Rooted in connection

Transcript

| Honoring the Matriarchs

SPEAKER_00 0:00

There are women whose names don't always get written down, but their fingerprints are everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 0:07

They are in the way the family gathers, in the recipes that never needed measuring, in the prayers whispered over sleeping children.

SPEAKER_00 0:16

A matriarch is not loud about her power. She leads with love, with sacrifice, with endurance. She becomes the place everyone returns to, even when they don't realize that's what they're doing.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Today's episode is about honoring the roots before the bloom, about listening while the stories are still here to be told, about slowing down enough to say thank you for the strength that carried us, the wisdom that shaped us, and the love that still holds us together.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Today, I have the honor of sitting with my grandmother, the woman whose life quietly told us how to survive, how to love, and how to grow. This conversation is for her and for every woman who held a family together without ever asking to be saved. What's up, wild ones? Welcome to Grown Wildflowers, the podcast where we talk all things parenting, pets, purpose, and the beautiful mess in between. I'm Will.

| Introducing Grandma

SPEAKER_01 1:31

And I'm Need, and today's episode is called Animatri. And we are sitting here with someone whose life, love, strength, prayers, sacrifices, and presence have helped shape generations of our family.

SPEAKER_00 1:45

This episode is deeply special. This is not just a conversation, it is an honor. We get to sit with my grandmother, hear her story, honor her journey, and simply listen.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

Grandma, thank you for being here with us.

SPEAKER_03 2:03

Oh, thank you so much, Lisa and Lil for having me on.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

We just want to say how much this means to us. This is not about perfection or formal answers. We really just want your truths, your memories, your voice, and your heart.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

I do my best. Thank you. So you represent so much for our family, strength, history, sacrifice, wisdom, and love. So today we just want to celebrate you and make space for your story.

| Growing Up

SPEAKER_00 2:35

So let's start at the beginning. When you look back, what are some of the moments that shaped you the most?

SPEAKER_03 2:42

My life just fell into place, I would say, when I finished high school. Didn't really have a friend towards going to college because my parents really weren't uh able to send me to college. My main goal was to find a job and move forward that way.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

I remember coming out of high school myself and thinking about what did I want to do, what did I want to become. That could definitely be a challenging time, especially when you don't really have all of the resources or information about what's next.

SPEAKER_03 3:17

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's an advantage that most of the children today have over back then we didn't have that many options as some of them have right now, where they can plan their future. I really I didn't have a plan. But my parents, they were guiding me what's the best thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Even that's helpful because if I didn't have a plan per se, I wanted to be a lawyer, but I didn't necessarily know the steps to get there. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

To your point, Grandma. Today there's so much information, so much access to all of the different routes. You can look something up and pull up a plan or some type of method to approach whatever it is you're thinking of. And even when I was coming out of high school, I really had to figure it out based on conversations with other kids that was coming out of high school and people I met. I actually went to college because I knew that was something I wanted to do, but it was really talking to pairs and realizing that was the next step. It wasn't anyone giving me other options, other options or anything like that. So I get it. What was life like growing up? What do you remember most about your younger years?

SPEAKER_03 4:39

My younger years, my memory is of just playing with my brothers, whatever they were doing, I would try to get involved. Some things never changed. You know, when they were rolling their tires up, climbing trees, or whatever they were doing, I would try to get involved with that. Mainly just spending time with my siblings and uh doing whatever my mother needed me to do as far as source research, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Awesome. I can only imagine calling the trees and so funny, right?

SPEAKER_03 5:18

People can't visit me being that. But I used to play with my brothers. I can remember playing with them more so than with my sister. And then later on, I had a newspaper route that I had before I went to school. I would deliver a newspaper. I used to get up early because we used to ride the school bus and I would get up early and do my little paper route.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Yeah. So you did a paper route before you went to school?

SPEAKER_03 5:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

Wow, that's interesting. What was it like? So when you would get up, and then I'm sure your parents was fine with it. It was a job at the time. What do you remember from that? Did you have any experiences that stood out when you were like going to do the paper route and then going in to school?

SPEAKER_03 6:06

Not really. I don't remember any incidents. I'm sure there were. I was just mainly trying to get there and get back home before the bus.

SPEAKER_00 6:14

Right, right. But you enjoyed it? That's cool. What kind of environment uh was it that you grew up in?

SPEAKER_03 6:23

My father always worked at the sawmill. And the first memory I have, we lived in a place called Fido. He worked at sawmill. And we were there for a few years. I guess I was born there, clearly. Okay. And then when I was about six or seven, I guess, we moved to another sawmill. And that's all I knew.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Yeah, yeah. So it's like wherever you worked at, you relocated.

SPEAKER_03 6:52

When I finished high school, you know, I left they were still there, but then they moved shortly after that.

SPEAKER_01 7:00

Were there things that you had to overcome?

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Yeah, because when we were at the sawmill, we went to school in Jacksonville, which was about 20 miles on the bus. Yeah. So you couldn't really get involved too much in what was going on with the school because you got to get on the bus at the end of the day and go back home. Otherwise, you have no way of getting home. So you didn't do a lot of activity. That that was the hardest thing when I was going to school.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Was there ever a time where you did not know how things were going to work out, but you kept going anyway? Like you were determined.

SPEAKER_01 7:41

That's a good question.

SPEAKER_03 7:42

I'm sure there was a lot of times that things were gonna work out. I know that could be like after what was yeah, but you know, we kind of we kind of took everything as it came. It wasn't uh really big deal in, I would say the situation work it out.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

Yeah, resilience was built in.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

And that's kind of the way we were brought up.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

That's awesome. How did becoming a mother change?

| Becoming a Mother

SPEAKER_03 8:08

It definitely changed because first of all, when I got married, I moved back to New Jersey, you know, where I had come up just to work and then went back on, and then I came back. So I didn't really have that much family support. You know, I didn't have any. Yeah. I didn't have any relatives or anything in Jerry. So I kind of relied on grandfather, you know. Show me the mother, I've been really sure of any answer to that because I didn't have any experience and I had anybody to help me. So I relied on my mother. She came when your mother was born, right? Came to help me and kind of help me with that. But I'm mostly on the oil.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

So all just all very new territory.

SPEAKER_01 8:57

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I always say, you know, that I haven't done this before. So I'm learning. This is new.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

It's important. What do you remember most about those years of raising your children? What was some of your fondest memories of that time?

SPEAKER_03 9:16

Just trying to teach them the way to do things. And like I said, learn as you go. And try to teach them the things that I learned when I was growing. So I had to give my mother credit for whatever I did with my children, I followed her, what she did, you know, made changes accordingly.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

Yeah, the time. I appreciate that. I will say today, a lot of the things that I learned as a child came from you. I tell my daughters that all the time. We'll talk about just how much time I spent here, and I would explain to them. When I'm trying to teach them how to take care of their own things and clean up their home, the memories I reflect on is I remember coming to your house and you teaching me simple things, but things that were important, whether it was how to clean a table, not just clean a table, but polish the table. And I remember just wanting to be present and help you and help granddad out in the yard or whatever. But a lot of my memories, I reflect on so many different things that you taught me. And I use that today. Even skills like learning how to shop at a store. I remember you would give me a small list and I would go throughout the store, even though we were together, and I would pick up the things and bring them back to you. Those things I just I appreciate you for it. At the same time, it's still the same thing where I'm handing it to the next generation. So I totally can align with that.

SPEAKER_03 10:43

That's really the basic way most parents rely on the way they were floating. I remember we used to always be at the table together. We had one long table in the kitchen, dental each side, and we used to always sit down together. Whether it was breakfast or dinner skin. Yeah, my father always said the blessing. I brought that with my children. And even the grandson so much. We definitely try. They do. Yeah. First thing they do, they get the table and they try saying they're blessing. Right. So it's a good thing, you know.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Absolutely. It did go down to the gray grands, too, because we have that same kind of celebration. We have the table, the two benches. They say their prayers, and it's funny because all of them get their own version of whatever the prayer is before.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 11:42

That definitely is still something living for sure.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

We try anyway. Do you think the hardest part is when they're younger or when they start getting like teenage years?

SPEAKER_03 11:54

I think the teenage years. But once they start getting a minor, it's getting a little difficult. Because you want them to be independent, but you want to make sure they're not crystallized. So you try to guide them a little bit. But you have to give them space to grow and just kind of guide them.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

I see it the same way. You do have to try to give them the space to bump their head a little bit, make some mistakes and learn that way, but at the same time, yeah, give them the guidance to where they still can stay on track and do the things that are and encourage them to step out and do things, new ideas, as long as you give them the guidance.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

Step out and try something new. Absolutely. So we definitely can relate.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

It's trying to balance the and trying to encourage them to.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

And let them know you're gonna be there for them. If they have difficulties, that you're gonna always be there to support them, you know, help them.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yeah, and guide them.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Was there ever a moment when you realized you were no longer just raising children, you were shaping a whole family line. This was becoming so much bigger, or did it all just fall into place and just happen?

SPEAKER_03 13:28

I think it kind of just fell into place as your children grow and get older, and then you realize that sometimes you have to kind of back off and listen to them, their side of the story. Yeah. You have to compromise a little bit as a parent and you know their side of the story, how they feel about certain things. That was a learning experience, too.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Yeah, I probably needed to hear that.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

I try as much as I can. And sometimes you're gonna hear some things that you did not expect or you was not aware of now, especially with them. Our children are younger, but they still go through so many different things every day. If we don't pause, just let them kind of let the things out, we could totally miss on something critical.

SPEAKER_01 14:30

Yeah, there's definitely something powerful about realizing that what may have felt like an ordinary day was actually the legacy day, something that turned into be something very important that they were learning. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Grandma, when times were difficult, we all go through these difficult moments or spaces. Where did your strength come from?

| Strength & Faith

SPEAKER_03 14:52

I kinda start strength and rolling back and looking at what my parents went through. When you're growing up, you take things for granted. When I got older and started thinking about what my father went through in workings as a the sawmill and just making ends meet.

SPEAKER_04 15:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:09

And we had a large family and we never went hungry. And we always had clothes and everything. And I think back on that because I realized some of the sacrifices they had to make. No. I didn't realize. When you look back on it and you realize what they went through, what you're going through now, then it's suddenly. That's the way I look at it.

SPEAKER_01 15:32

I have to give them credit. You know. Was there a time when you had to be strong before you even had to process what you were feeling?

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Most of the time, I would put my feelings on the back liner really to address whatever was going on at the time. You try to come up with uh the right answers, and you don't always have the answers.

SPEAKER_00 15:55

You try to work it out. Yep. That's the part that comes with life in general, is the part that gives you the endurance. Like it's when you just gotta be strong. Yeah, just hang in there and you figure it out through it.

SPEAKER_03 16:09

Thank you. Because I was raised up in church and all that, but we mostly went because we had to go. Yeah. But that became instilled in me that when things seemed bleak, then you pray, say the Lord's Prayer. Whatever you have, reach back for that and uh pray for everything that worked out.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Yeah. Believing in something bigger. What were things you refused to let go of even when times got hard? What were some things that you felt you had to stand by?

SPEAKER_03 16:42

Nothing specifically, it's the values you brought with that you see your parents always try to do whatever is right, which you feel is the right thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. And don't compromise your values that you can still in yourself to do whatever it is. You have to have a line that you don't step over. Don't compromise your values.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Thank you. What has family taught you over the years? Watching the family bloom and become what it has.

| Family Is Everything

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Whatever you can do to support your family, regardless of whether it is and all, just be there. Just to be there too to let them know that you will do whatever you can to help them, whatever situation, and have the door open that they feel that they can come to you if they have a problem.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

Just growing up myself and seeing the family through the years, one thing is for sure. Every one of us in some phase or another in our life have been able to come to you and feel like there was home when we didn't necessarily feel like we had it anywhere else. That is something that has definitely taught me a lot about the importance of foundation, the importance of always being open to being able to support your family and knowing that, seeing that I learned so much because it's one thing to have the idea, but it's another thing to actually have lived it through and saw somebody continue time and time again to be able to be available or make themselves a pivotal and being able to support somebody in their period of need.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

I mean, to family, just being a part of a family that you can feel like you're not alone in whatever situation you're in. Feel free to open up about it. Because a lot of times you have family, but you don't feel comfortable opening up about your situation. So you need to feel that you can have somebody in your family that you can go to. You don't have to go to the whole family, but that feeling that you have somebody that you can actually talk to and get some kind of exchange and help you. They might have some idea of some show. So you shouldn't feel like you alone if you partner with them.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

It speaks to the importance of one communication, but also trust. It's really having enough trust and having enough faith in the people around you to be able to just be transparent about what's happening with the people.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

Yeah, and that's important for the younger ones to know too. Just to open up with how you're feeling, or whatever help you need or decisions you need to make. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

That touch point can literally change the course of somebody's life.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Yeah. Just even like asking the kids specific questions instead of how was your day? I say, who was nice to you today? Like just being specific.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

Allow them to be able to open up whatever they feel.

SPEAKER_00 20:53

What matters most when it comes to holding a family together at the core of it? Communication, trust, is anything else.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

I think communications at the top of the list, you know, that to communicate with each other. Like in and leak to see when they with the kid just asking a person, but how are you feeling? How's everything going? It don't be anything specific. Right. How's it going? And go from there.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

It might happen upon a moment that you can actually support.

| Her Legacy

SPEAKER_03 21:27

It could make your day, you know, something hard to do to ask you how you're doing. And I think that's something we all need to get better at. I agree. Because you think about a person, you say, I'm calling the later. And then that might have been the moment they needed you the most. But your life got busy, and then Yeah, and that's what most of people, everybody's still doing their own thing. I get back to them later. And you think about some of the tragedies that has happened, and you look back and say, I was gonna call them so that we could all do better that way.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

Absolutely. Is there anything that people often get wrong about what it takes to truly hold a family down? But I think you just spoke to that. Sometimes we take for granted that life is happening to other people in real time, and we can't just assume because I spoke to somebody a month ago that they're still okay now.

SPEAKER_01 22:26

Yeah, things change. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Is there anything that you hope your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren carry forward from you?

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Well, let's put it this way. I just hope that they take forward. just hearing about each other and always be open to give whatever they can do to help each other to do whatever they need to do of just being in touch to see if the other person was okay if I could see do you realize the impact you made on everyone in your family?

SPEAKER_01 23:05

That's what it sounded like. Like it is huge. I have heard stories about what they have learned from you or what you taught them from not just the grandchildren but your children as well. Even me I have stories as well that I share with our kids that the impact and embracement that I received coming in here.

SPEAKER_03 23:30

Well I appreciate that but no I think it's a thought that I made that it could try to me I'm not definitely not perfect. And I tell them you don't have to put me on a pedestal because I'm not a perfect person. And a lot I learned along the way and a lot of things if I had to do them over again I probably would do them a little different. Because like I said before I was running as I was coming along a mother parent and I think in some phases of that I could have done a better job had I known things that I know now. Right. But I'm glad that I've made a good impression on them. But I always remind them that I'm don't put me on the tetas even with the great grandma was just looking like oh grandma you so disgrandma but um I'm thankful for that they don't look up to me for guidance.

SPEAKER_00 24:41

You actually said it no grandma the sentiment doesn't come from the expectation of perfection it's really the amount of devotion that you put into the care part that no matter what the conditions were, no matter what the moment was every time I've shared time with you and I know everyone else probably reflects in the same way there's just been this immense amount of care that you felt in presence that allowed for through a lifetime us to feel like no matter what time of day it is, where we're at in life that we knew we had a place that was home. And as for me from the time I could even remember to all the way up to today that's what makes you so special to all of us is that part. It's not about what was right, what was wrong what could have been done better. It was about the way it felt when it was done.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

In that moment.

SPEAKER_00 25:43

Yeah and that's something I can't appreciate enough.

SPEAKER_01 25:47

Appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

When people think of you years from now what do you hope that they remember the most that I genuinely care about other people.

SPEAKER_03 26:04

I mean not just my family but I care about people around me what can I do to help somebody else in my life the kids everybody needs somebody to care about the onion I don't look you know stars or anything you know I say the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

All right we're gonna move into the boom class so basically where it rolls is there's no rules just quick answers let's get into it one word that describes family.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

There you go I was gonna say crazy that was perfect. One thing every family needs more of love.

| Closing

SPEAKER_03 27:00

Yeah it's never enough yeah never enough and my easy oh yeah that's right that definitely helps one thing you are most proud of children my grandchildren my great grand everybody I'm just amazed at how talented they are how smart they are absolutely favorite dish to eat or make I don't know I eat almost everything I would say my sweet potato pies have been made one of the favorite absolutely hands down the sweet there's a fight over that is what pie you take that's how many pies you take how many can I after they helped up the right you know right the overflow. Oh my gosh how many do you actually make for the holidays I used to I've made as many as anywhere from 15 to 18 but I could a whole lot that sounds about right but at one point that's what I was doing trying to please everybody.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

Yeah we in and on sweet potato pies on that one all right so this conversation was a gift for us we appreciate you sitting down with us thank you for everything thank you for the love thank you for the sacrifice thank you for your wisdom and thank you for being the roots beneath this family everyone who is listening happy Mother's Day let this be a reminder to honor the women who came before you ask questions sit down with them listen to their stories and hold on to the wisdom absolutely because roots matter legacy matters and the women who held us deserve to be named to be celebrated and to be remembered all right and until next time keep growing keep showing up and please keep saluting the women before you thanks for listening make sure you type that support link we appreciate and thank you for supporting us don't forget to subscribe and share it follow us on ID at d underscore wildflowerway and tag your member hashtag thewildfireway and by the way our mom aesthetic collection is on our website for a limited time go to wildflowersfamily.com and check it out.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

And remember keep growing keep showing up and keep making it smile with everything you do. Happy Mother's Day