It’s 10PM… Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

It’s 10PM… Do You Know Where Your Children Are?

That iconic question hits different now.

In this episode of Growing WildFlowers, we unpack the iconic phrase that once echoed through late-night television and explore what it means for modern families now. Because today, knowing where your children are is not just about physical location. It is also about knowing what they are watching, who they are connected to, what is shaping their minds, and how they are doing emotionally.

We talk about nostalgia, parenting in the digital age, online safety, sleep, social media, trust, boundaries, and the invisible pressures children and teens face long after the lights go out. This is a real conversation about how parenting has changed, what has stayed the same, and how connection still matters most.

If you have ever wondered how to raise aware, protected, emotionally supported children in a world that never really powers down, this episode is for you.

Because at 10PM, the real question may not just be where your children are… but whether you still know their world.

Life doesn’t come with a manual but it does come with moments that shape us.

Growing WildFlowers is a podcast for parents, partners, and people doing their best to grow something meaningful in the middle of real life. We talk love, parenting, marriage, culture, and the beautifully messy moments in between. With honest conversations, shared stories, and gentle reminders that growth isn’t always loud, but it’s always happening.

• Rooted in connection

Transcript

Intro

SPEAKER_02 0:04

What's up, wild ones? Welcome to Grown Wildflowers, the podcast where we talk all things parenting, pets, purpose, and the beautiful mess in between. I'm Will.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

And I'm Nish, and today's episode is called It's Pimp. Do you know where your children are?

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Right. And if you know, you know.

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Right. That line actually used to mean something.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

It meant go find your kids.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

And now it means we definitely know where they are.

SPEAKER_02 0:34

Right. They're in a house, somewhere on a device, probably logged into something.

Then vs. Now

SPEAKER_01 0:42

But it's still hard to reach them.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back for a second.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

You mean back to when we outside until the street lights come on?

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Absolutely. No cell phones to call, no texting.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

No GPS or find my.

SPEAKER_02 1:03

No GPS, no find my. Just vibes and instructions.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

Right. Because, you know, our parents definitely did not know where we were every second.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Nah. Definitely did not, but they trusted we'd figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

And we did, right? Because we had the freedom, we had space. We just had time to be bored.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

And bored as it was, built creativity.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

But it was definitely the freedom for me being able to walk into the woods, climb trees, hang out, or just skating down the street and skating to the parking lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Yeah. I remember at one point riding my bike up and down the street, just me by myself, which turned into seeing another bike down the street and rolling up and just looking and seeing another kid come out, and that's his bike. And it's like, hey, you got a bike? Yeah, I got a bike. And next thing you know, you're building a new friend, you're riding together, and it's a whole adventure.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Yes. You're learning how to navigate relationships, how to solve problems, and just how to be outside and be safe.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Yeah. And it was a lot of doing it on our own kind of DYI when it came down to solving problems. For sure. Yeah, because you had that motivation to figure it out. Because if you didn't, you were likely going to get pulled into the house.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Yes. And we didn't want that. You had to handle the situation because if you went home, you stayed in the house. It was no going back and forth in the house, outside. No, once you're in, you're in.

SPEAKER_02 2:58

Right.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

And that's not fun.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Right. And that meant arguments with friends or just other kids and dealing with whatever the situations were, scuffles and sports and competitiveness.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

Learning how to buy things from the corner store, how to get your change back. What's next could last you the longest.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

Oh, yeah. You definitely had to figure out what was the right things to purchase. I remember sitting there plotting, like, all right, well, if I just spent a quarter on a juice, then I got 75 cents to get a bag of chips and some candy.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

And some candy. A bag full of candy.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

A bag full of candy, you know? Yes. What a time. And if something went wrong, you still found a way, right?

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Yeah. We weren't constantly supervised. Of course, there were the neighborhood parents that would check out the window and things like that. But we were still slightly raising ourselves.

The Digital World

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Definitely to some degree. And I do think that's not a knock to the parenting because the raising ourselves part was a part of the way that they raised us, which, whether intentional or not, it built us to be stronger human beings today.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

For sure. Now, how about we look at today?

SPEAKER_02 4:31

It's a different world. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 4:34

Yeah. Kids are more connected with devices, social media, and things like that.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Yeah, the world has definitely shrank quite a bit to where they have more capability to communicate than we did, um, for good or for bad, right? But sometimes they are also less connected than we were.

SPEAKER_01 5:01

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

In some ways, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Absolutely, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Everything for them is faster, louder, more visual, and more accessible.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Yeah. And more permanent for sure.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yeah, especially posting things on social media.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

Yeah, nothing seems to go away. Everybody has a video camera. Photos are taken all the time, everywhere. I remember taking a photo was really a grand moment where now it's like these things are being snapped. These children have cameras on them at all times. So nothing seems to really go away totally.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

It doesn't. Right.

SPEAKER_02 5:42

It doesn't once somewhere in the hard drive.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Or share it with, you know, friends, text messages, images, and stuff. Those things are permanent. Right. So we know where they are physically.

SPEAKER_02 5:55

But we don't always know where they are mentally, emotionally.

SPEAKER_01 6:01

That part, exactly. It can feel like pulling teeth sometimes to find out they are growing up. Again, social media, that constant comparison and just simply information overload. It's a lot. It's so much sometimes. But how are we managing this with our kids?

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Well, I love the fact that we actually do take a lot of time to communicate with them. Absolutely. We find ways, we create spaces where they feel confident that they can trust us and indulge in conversations. We've made an open space for them to feel free to speak and not have to worry about consequences or trouble just enough so that they can let it out. They go through a lot throughout the day, and they need somewhere to kind of vet the information they put in and help them process.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Help them process, help them understand what's going on in the world because it's still all new to them. And navigating that sometimes can be tricky. But you basically have to take the time and just listen to your kids without passing judgment on them.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Yes, well said. That's basically what our goal is to always set a stage where they feel judgment free so that they will open up and they will discuss what's on their mind with us.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:39

I was looking into this a little bit, so I was thinking about what children go through today and what's out there. What is the information that applies to exactly what we're speaking to? And based on the US Surgeon General's advisory, it says social media use among teens is nearly universal. Up to 95% of youth ages 13 to 17 report using a social media platform. And more than a third say they use social media almost constantly.

SPEAKER_01 8:28

I believe it.

Modern Parenting Challenges

SPEAKER_02 8:29

So honestly, today, do you know where your children are? That PSA can still apply. It does. It just means now, are they scrolling, messaging strangers, spiraling socially, or losing sleep? Do you know where they are mentally, emotionally?

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Are you checking in with them?

SPEAKER_02 8:54

Are you checking in?

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Wow. That's a lot to think about. These are the things that we have to stay on top of as parents. One of the other things that I keep coming across on social media is that this generation is weaker. Although some of those posts I've seen about how we survive drinking water out of the holes and how strong we are.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

As millennials, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

I don't necessarily think that it means that they're weaker. We just lived through the beginning of social media and received it gradually. We became aware of some of the bad things, and I think we became a little more cautious, maybe. And this generation has been overly exposed to social media.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Yeah, for sure. They're navigating a heavier world. Oh a much heavier world. When you think about the amount of information that they have access to, and with information comes all forms of it. What's going on globally, what's going on politically, what's going on in states far away from you. I wasn't thinking about what's going on in California or Texas when I was a kid playing outside. Right. They actually have that coming up as notifications or just being presented to them in many different ways with media. So definitely a heavier, heavier world to navigate.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Some of the things that we do to try and ease some of that is that we do limit devices. And if there is something on the news or something that they came across, they have free range to question it, to access, to speak their mind respectfully without judgment in our house.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

Right. And that goes into access. So the way I look at it is the old PSA was about location.

SPEAKER_04 11:03

Yeah. Right?

SPEAKER_02 11:04

The modern version, because we're bringing it back right now. The modern version is about access. Who has access to your child's attention, emotions, identity, images, and just their time at 10 p.m.? So, niche, let's think about this a little differently. I got a question for you. Did parents know more back then, or did they only know different things from what we know?

SPEAKER_01 11:37

Hmm. That's probably no toss-up. Because parents did what they wanted to do with their time, and the kids were just there, or we were sent outside to play. There was neighborhoods. It was just different back then. So I don't think they knew more back then because things have just evolved into much more technology. They had black and white TV they was watching.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

So it's just different time, I think.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

I agree. I do believe they had an advantage that as far as visibility.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah. I think everybody looked out more for each other. I remember the neighbors would call my mom and say, she left home school early. She's home. And lo and behold, it was just because we were sick.

SPEAKER_02 12:36

But yeah, I think people were a lot more vigilant, but at the same time, I felt like danger was a lot more obvious. Like you knew, you can see when things were happening, where now today, with all of the social media and the things that are happening, your child could be right next to you and you not see danger because it's on a phone or device. It seems like just a normal thing, like they might be going through their phone or navigating something simple, but in reality, that could be dangerous.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

So would you say that with modern parenting today, is it harder because kids are less safe, or is it because the danger is less visible?

SPEAKER_02 13:25

That's a great question. I think it is harder in the sense that what I was just speaking to, you really have to be probing and getting into the mind of your child to fully absorb what risks are out there for them or what they're exposed to. Where at that time, I just think when I recollect to my past as a childhood, like you knew it was like don't play with fire. Remember, that was a big thing. Well, yeah, you don't play with fire because this is why stop dropping rolls. Yeah, or it was drug use, and it was, hey, make sure you don't do drugs. This is your brain on drugs and all those different things, but it was still visible, it was vigilant, like you can tell right the real fears and the real dangers. Where now kids are literally like unfortunately being exposed to so many different things that life seems so much harder for them.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Yeah, and I think they're exposed to the less safe things because we do we can remember those commercials with the egg. And I don't see that now. Where do we have don't do drug commercials or things like that for our kids?

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Yeah, I think every now and then you might see one on the opioids, but it's not as it was then. I remember we had their programs and things like that as well. But I just think about the children now and parenting now. You really have to be part psychologist, uh, part therapists, a lot more. Not that it wasn't there then, but now with again social media and all of the exposure to so many different things, it's just a lot.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

It is. Oh my gosh.

Surveillance vs. Trust

SPEAKER_02 15:19

It really is, but it is a big part, just a different world. Then they had their challenges, or I think we have ours.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Oh yeah. What do you think actually protects kids? Strict surveillance or trusted connections.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Yeah, we have talked about this, and it has to be a balance. Your kids need to be trusted, and you need to know that you can trust your kids. So it has to be that balance. We're gonna check devices and making sure that you are being safe online. I want you to know that certain things you shouldn't be, you know, checking online, or if you get a crazy message, you need to let us know, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Right.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

But it it definitely has to be a balance.

SPEAKER_02 16:20

Yeah, strict surveillance does play a part. You do have to be vigilant, you have to be paying attention, you have to be asking questions.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Have to be having that communication. Yeah, sometimes you really gotta be hyper-focused just to make sure that your kid is on the understanding the risks with social media, with messaging people or people messaging you who you don't know.

SPEAKER_02 16:45

Yeah. And the trusted connection part is what allows it to not be strict surveillance. You know, when I think of strict surveillance, I think of you got to go through and you're ramaging through everything. You're just trying to search for it, but you're not getting the information from the other side. But when you have that connection, it makes things work a lot more fluid. And it's okay, they understand why you're asking questions. So they give you more, you have to surveil a little bit less. And as that trust builds, then that means you can do less of that work and do more of the support part because now you're just talking about the things and you're giving advice, you're championing them when they need it, and you're letting them know when to caution.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

Exactly. That is so important.

SPEAKER_02 17:40

Right.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

It's now 10 p.m. So what are the things that parents can be checking for?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

At 10 p.m. Now you need to be checking location if they're not there. But in most cases nowadays, I believe you really need to be checking for the devices. You need to be checking for their tone. Where are they at mentally? Just be paying attention. Yeah. Are they who they are as you know them? Are they a little less communicative? Their fun self that they gotta pay attention to that. Are they actually sleep or are they scrolling?

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Yeah, we've definitely had some nights when our kids just weren't sleeping, they're playing games on their iPads, but you gotta check on them. Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

And who has access to your child's attention? They have devices, as you just mentioned, but who has access to that device? Can they receive messages? Do you have certain restrictions applied so that yeah, they're not being exposed or being reached out to at hours where they should not?

What We Kept

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Right. It's like there's the school time thing that you have screen time and you can set those times for them not to have access. We did have those early on. We're easing our way into less of the time frame, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

Um it's just important to make sure you're monitoring your child's usage of devices, even if you give them the freedom to have them.

SPEAKER_04 20:15

Check in with them, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

Putting limitations, not just limitations on them, it's really about putting limitations on the outside world from being able to access them when you don't feel that they should be able to.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

So that they're not information, social media overloaded.

SPEAKER_02 20:34

Right. So as we move forward, what do you think we kept from what we learned growing up as being parents today?

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Oh man, there's a few things that come to mind, especially values and values.

SPEAKER_02 20:57

Okay. That's huge. Um you're thinking like family time and well yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

To a extent, I think we've had conversations where we say we have similar values, and that's why we gel. The thing that we value is coming together, spending time together, and laughing, having a good time.

SPEAKER_02 21:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Things like that.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Instilling that does come from growing up. I know my family that was just a big deal, being able to spend time together, having fun, you know, siblings or cousins, and just quality time home all together.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

That's a question for the audience. When was the last time you sat down with your kids and played a regular board game? Monopoly, sorry, clue. There's so many. When did you have that time with your kids?

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Yeah, ways to bring about some of that nostalgia, but at the same time rekindling the essence of what we valued at that time.

SPEAKER_01 22:19

There's some other childhood things that we brought up emotional awareness, being in tune with how we are feeling. And now that also could just be growing up in the time. What are you feeling? Can you tell me? You're not happy. So what is it? So that emotional awareness is. Is we are automatically like, okay, why did you do that? Okay, that didn't sit well with me today.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah. More presence is something that is highly influential in our parenting, being there, trying to make sure that we're just doing things together, whether it's watching TV shows or movies or playing board games or going outside, taking them to the park, taking them for walks, taking them for jogs, playing sports with them.

SPEAKER_04 23:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Video games. We get at it. We get competitive. We have a great time.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

We do not take it easy on them.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Yeah. Trying to enhance that quality of relationship by being there and showing up for their moments, bringing them along for our moments. Whether it be communicating effectively and letting them know what's going on.

SPEAKER_01 23:45

Right. Because we don't just want to tell our kids what to do.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

We try to understand how they feel. We help them understand what we're feeling, the why behind whatever it is we are asking them to do.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Right. It's not just being in survival mode. We want them to learn, understand, and communicate effectively.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

Right. As the podcast says, this is about growth.

SPEAKER_03 24:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:16

We're growing wildflowers for a reason. It's really about growth, development, and providing the things that allows them to flourish.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

Mm-hmm. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 24:27

We're not raising kids the way we were raised. That's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:32

We can. But what we do want to do is raise them with what we learned and what we needed from our parents.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

That's exactly why they raised us the way that they did, and that's what they tried to do. We're trying to do the same thing, and that's just what makes it different. We're balancing, giving freedom, keeping them safe, preparing them for what's next.

SPEAKER_04 25:02

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

And protecting them from some of the things that we talked about earlier.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

And being honest here, it is not easy at all.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Nope.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

Sometimes I do wonder are we being overprotective or just adapting?

SPEAKER_02 25:22

Yeah, that's the tension. That is the nuance of what we do. With the awareness, excuse me, with the vigilance, trying to protect at the same time, not overdo it, not be overwhelming.

Bloom Blast Q&A

SPEAKER_01 25:41

Because they have to process things for themselves and they gotta go through things. They do and grow up.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

That's where we come in with the adapting part. So we try to do a little bit of both. The adapting is really about knowing when to pull back and adjust to what they're becoming, to who they're becoming.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

The world is forever changing.

SPEAKER_02 26:10

It is. So parenting has to change too. It has to evolve.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Yeah. Our ultimate goal in the situation is to raise good humans. Period.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Good humans.

SPEAKER_01 26:25

Clack it.

SPEAKER_00 26:26

Bloom yeah, all right.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Bloom blast our rapid fire QA. Y'all know what it is. Let's go. Let's go. Then versus now. No thinking. Just answers. Outside until dark or schedule play dates.

SPEAKER_01 26:49

Then outside until dark.

SPEAKER_02 26:53

Word. Knock on the door or text first.

SPEAKER_01 26:57

Text first, for sure.

Outro

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Text first. Figure it out or ask for help.

SPEAKER_01 27:03

Figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

One TV or personal screens.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Oh man. Personal screens, but both really.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Yeah, yeah, we go.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

My turn. Walk it off or talk it out.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

Talk it out.

SPEAKER_01 27:21

Privacy or protection?

SPEAKER_02 27:23

Protection.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

Discipline or discussion?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Discussion.

SPEAKER_01 27:31

Be home before dark or location sharing.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Be home before dark.

SPEAKER_01 27:39

Yeah, I'll disagree. All right. Bloom blast is complete.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Alright, so if you grew up in both worlds, you know exactly what this feels like.

SPEAKER_01 27:50

Yeah. We're not raised in the same world our kids are. But we're the bridge between both. Just adjust the approach.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

It's not about getting it perfect.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

No, not at all. But it is about staying aware.

SPEAKER_02 28:06

And staying present.

SPEAKER_01 28:07

Just simply being connected together. If this made you think about your childhood or your parenting skills, share this with someone who's raising kids in this new world. And don't forget to tell us what's the one thing you kept and one thing that you've changed in your parenting style.

SPEAKER_02 28:27

Listen, I'ma need y'all to let us know. Reach out, tap boom moments, leave your comments. Oops in.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

Don't forget to tag us in your moments and tell us how you stay connected with your kids. Make sure you tap that support link. Just know we appreciate and thank you for supporting us. Don't forget to subscribe and share it. We also have new merch on the website, wildflowerfamily.com. Follow us on IG at the underscore Wildflower Way. Don't forget to tag your moment. Hashtag the WildflowerWay.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

And although you don't have to look far, it's 10 p.m. Do you know where your children are?