Roses Are Red, Everyday

Roses are red.

But love isn’t meant to be loud once a year.

In this Valentine’s Day episode of the Growing WildFlowers Podcast, we’re celebrating love without the pressure to perform it.

We talk about:

• Why Valentine’s Day can feel like a relationship report card

• The difference between grand gestures and daily devotion

• How social media quietly shapes our expectations

• Why consistency might be the most romantic thing of all

We’re not anti-flowers.

We’re anti-pressure.

Because when love lives in your everyday rhythm in the dishes done without asking, the quiet check-ins, the “I’ve got you” moments February 14th becomes a bonus, not a test.

Roses are red.

Love is daily.

And when it’s rooted, it doesn’t need a spotlight.

Transcript

Will 0:00

What's up, wild ones? Welcome to Grown Wildflowers, the podcast where we talk all things parenting, pets, purpose, and the beautiful mess in between. I'm Will.

Neesh 0:08

And I'm Ne. Today's episode is Roses Are Red Every Day. We are sharing our true feelings about the Valentine's Day holiday. So happy Valentine's Day.

Will 0:20

Happy Valentine's Day. Or happy relationship report card day.

Neesh 0:26

Not the report card. But suddenly everyone's grading affection like it's a final exam.

Will 0:32

You didn't get reservations. That's a C minus. No handwritten note. Definitely a D plus.

Neesh 0:39

Wow.

Will 0:40

No surprises. Well, we need to talk.

Neesh 0:44

And meanwhile, we're over here like February 14th. That's just a cute accessory. Love lives here daily.

Will 0:51

Exactly. We are pro-love. We are pro-celebration. We are just anti-pressure.

Neesh 0:58

Okay. Let's be clear. We're not haters. We love the hearts. We love the kids making cards for the class and bringing home the little gifts.

Will 1:07

The slightly lopsided glitter hearts elite romance.

Neesh 1:11

And it's sweet to intentionally say, I choose you.

Will 1:15

Yes. Celebration matters. Love deserves confetti sometimes. But here's the thing: if this is the only day you're being intentional, I need irrigation because that plan is dry. Listen, love romance has to be built in your daily, weekly, monthly routine, whether it be flowers or text messages that are small love notes.

Neesh 1:46

Yeah, those text messages definitely brighten up my day when I see them.

Will 1:50

All right. Let's talk about the Super Bowl of affection.

Neesh 1:54

With halftime expectations.

Will 1:56

And Beyonce level budgeting.

Neesh 1:58

Oh, well, yes, I'm here for that. Social media has people thinking if there's no rose wall, violinists, or rooftop dinner, it doesn't count.

Will 2:08

Meanwhile, some of the healthiest relationships are just like, hey, I picked up your favorite chocolates or I handled bedtime. Why don't you go upstairs and relax?

Neesh 2:21

Definitely nothing sexier than I handled it. So can emotional safety be greater than edible arrangements?

Will 2:29

Wait, say that again.

Neesh 2:31

Okay. So emotional safety is greater than edible arrangements.

Will 2:37

That's a quote. Write that one down, folks.

Neesh 2:40

Oh, all right. You like that.

Will 2:43

Here's what we've learned. When love lives in your everyday rhythm, Valentine's Day doesn't feel heavy.

Neesh 2:51

Right. Because we're not cramming 365 days of appreciation into just 24 hours.

Will 2:58

Daily check-ins.

Neesh 3:00

Absolutely.

Will 3:01

Daily respect. Daily laughter.

Neesh 3:06

The daily choosing each other when we're tired.

Will 3:09

The dishes, the tag teaming with the kids, the you rest. I got this.

Neesh 3:15

Oh yeah. And plus the random midday texts from you, either thinking about you or how's your day going so far?

Will 3:24

Yes, consistency is the most underrated love language.

Neesh 3:29

Right. It's not flashy, but it's fertile.

Will 3:32

Oh, fertile love. That's chrome folk talk.

Neesh 3:36

Oh my gosh. I just mean that we work together and we're here for each other, you know, throughout the day. And so that when Valentine's Day gets here, we're not trying to scramble and go and get roses, go and get cars, and I don't need all that. Chocolates, yes. We definitely have a chocolate tradition in this house. And that is all that we need.

Will 4:08

It definitely helps that you have that mindset because I am a romantic. I love doing the big gestures. I love going out of my way to try to find different opportunities to wow you. However, there's a difference between doing something just because you want to be intentional about showing your affection and doing something because a certain day, and because if not, you're not gonna meet the expectations of your person. So that removes so much pressure from the entire situation.

Neesh 4:54

Okay. So what are we doing today for Valentine's Day?

Will 4:59

Probably dinner at home, maybe some candles.

Neesh 5:04

And definitely putting the kids to bed at 8:30.

Will 5:07

Real romance is whispering. Don't wake them up.

Neesh 5:12

We'll probably exchange something simple like chocolates, of course, and maybe a handwritten note.

Will 5:20

And honestly, that's enough.

Neesh 5:23

Because the big stuff, we've already practiced that daily.

Will 5:28

Over and over again.

Neesh 5:30

And it's nice.

Will 5:31

It's also nice not to have to stand in the line or get handed a buzzer where you're waiting about 50 minutes just to get seated, or dealing with traffic and parking spaces that are just not there. It's so much hype around just one day.

Neesh 5:56

And don't get us wrong, because we've done it. We've went out to eat on Valentine's Day, and it took over an hour for us to just get seated. And then it took an hour to get our food, and it was so crowded in there. So these are just some of the things that we learn because it works better for us. But we enjoy having the things daily. Will we come home with flowers randomly? That is more important to me than on Valentine's Day.

Will 6:35

Yeah, it's true. You'd have to figure out what works for you as a couple. It did take time because I love to be romantic. The gestures happened. We went places and we did things, and that's where we discovered our joy was far beyond the day and what we would do that day. It was really about the time spent together. Once we both locked in that understanding, then we had more power to make Valentine's Day in the way that felt right for us. Valentine's Day edition, rules to the ply, no waiting, quick answers. Let's go.

Neesh 7:28

Alright, I'm ready.

Will 7:29

Most underrated romantic gesture.

Neesh 7:32

Doing something without being asked.

Will 7:34

Okay.

Neesh 7:34

Worst Valentine's Day gift ever.

Will 7:38

Oh, that has to be a gas station teddy bear just trying to grab and scramble and get something.

Neesh 7:46

Yeah, that's pretty bad.

Will 7:50

Best zero dollar romantic move.

Neesh 7:53

I'm going with a hand-written note from you because I've gotten that before.

Will 8:00

All right, nice.

Neesh 8:02

Is Valentine's Day overrated?

Will 8:05

Only if it's your only day. It can't be the only time you're trying to wow your person. Nah. We need more.

Neesh 8:17

All right, my turn. Real romance is.

Will 8:22

Oh, real romance is doing the simple things really well. Those really intentional gestures, consistently trying to do things. Doesn't matter how big or small, keeping the boring things alive. Alright, I got one for you.

Neesh 8:42

Love should feel like a soft place to land your head at, to lay your head at.

Will 8:53

Security.

Neesh 8:54

Mm-hmm.

Will 8:55

I like that.

Neesh 8:56

Alright, bloom blast is complete.

Will 9:00

Alright, that takes us right into Petals and Pop Culture. Valentine's Day style.

Neesh 9:07

So, what are we watching right now that gets love right? And maybe what do they get wrong?

Will 9:15

Oh, yeah. I gotta go with shrinking. It's back on now.

Neesh 9:19

Yeah.

Will 9:20

Very excited. I choose that one because it shows the different layers of love and relationships, how complex they can be when it comes down to navigating appropriately and figuring out the right way or the right steps to moving forward. They definitely execute one, highlighting how tough it can be trying to maneuver through.

Neesh 9:58

Like the married couple on there, they are navigating their relationship. The husband is now retired, and so before they would have all this time apart. She got to do what she wanted to do while he was at work, and now they're trying to navigate coming together, and he's at home every day, and that's really interesting to see.

Will 10:25

Yeah, there's so many different relationships in the show, which makes it very interesting to watch because you're just waiting to see what is this person going to do with their situation and the same for all of the other characters in the show. Well done.

Neesh 10:43

All right. How do you feel, Will, about romantic comedies?

Will 10:50

I think they serve a purpose, but clearly chaos sells. And truly, healthy love is quiet. It's stable. So it makes it boring. It's not really a cinematic moment that anyone wants to buy tickets to sit down and see for the most part, although they're worthwhile in the long run. But when it comes down to trying to execute something that's going to keep people entertained, yeah. Oh, well done. Yeah.

Neesh 11:24

And we're going to be watching Relationship Goals with Kelly Roland and Meth the Man. And if you have watched it, send us a little message about what you think about it.

Will 11:37

Absolutely. I'm looking forward to checking Alan out. Okay, so Americans spend billions on Valentine's Day.

Neesh 11:46

Right.

Will 11:47

What do you think about that? What's your take?

Neesh 11:50

My take is money can amplify love, but it can't manufacture it. You have got to do the work because buying expensive gifts, although very nice and serve a purpose, it's not always needed. Especially just on one day.

Will 12:10

Yeah, I agree. It's very easy for us to get caught up in the trend and the moment to do something, to show something, to elevate the idea that your relationship is something that you value. But remember, what really matters is between you and your person.

Neesh 12:33

Oh my God, yes. And reminding me about the trend that's going on right now where you tell your partner you saw a bird or you know something, and if they're interested in you and the story that you're telling them, then they love you. But if they ignore you and are not paying any attention, you might need to move on. Or there's another one that if he wanted to, he would. That that that. But those are trends, and I don't think they necessarily mean what they're actually trying to portray.

Will 13:14

I agree. It sounds like it's a lot of personality things that could be involved in there, and the most important thing is effort matters. So whether or not they heard your story about the birds or they didn't, what is their behaviors like on a regular basis when it comes to you and the way they react?

Neesh 13:42

And the way they make you feel, and the way they make you feel.

Will 13:46

Let's not forget, communication matters more than all of it. If you tell someone what you like, love, want, then that gives them the opportunity to show that they are listening to you, and then they can go and execute on that as well. So before I would talk about what somebody would do for me, I have to first let them know what I would like them to do for me, and then see how they respond.

Neesh 14:24

Let's remember that too, because I also saw an article that February is peak season for proposals. So while proposals are beautiful, and maybe because of the holiday Valentine's Day and love and commitment is happening, we need to remember that commitment is proven in maintenance and in consistency with our actions and our behaviors toward each other.

Will 15:01

Yes, I agree. What you don't want is for your proposal to feel staged. Make sure that you put the work in, the time in, and you really understand the level of commitment that you're going into.

Neesh 15:17

Oh, should we speak about our proposal?

Will 15:21

Why not?

Neesh 15:24

So it was just us two a random day, and you just wanted to go to New York, and I said, okay, because I was with you. Right. And you took us to the top of the rock.

Will 15:42

Yep, Rockefeller Center.

Neesh 15:44

Mm-hmm. And I've never been. It's a nice view. And if you haven't gone, you should go. It is an amazing view to see. And you propose right there. And I was surprised. I had no idea. And we got some random person to take a picture of us after.

Will 16:04

Yes, it was the top of Rockefeller Center. Oh, a moment I will never forget. And when we think about what I mentioned earlier around the staging, I will tell you that was the last thing on my mind. Because if it was, there would have been somebody with us that was ready to take photos and videos of the entire encounter.

Neesh 16:29

I think that would have given it away, but yeah.

Will 16:32

That's the staging part I was talking about. And there was none of that. I really just wanted to go to a place that I thought was a very special place that meant a lot. At the same time, I really just wanted to do it. I think the combination of those two things led us to the top of Rockefeller Center and looking at that amazing view you were talking about.

Neesh 16:58

And me saying yes.

Will 17:00

And you saying yes. I just wanted to hear you say it again. And that's a wrap for Petals and Pop.

Neesh 17:08

Yes. So don't forget to tag us with your Valentine's Day moments and tell us how you stay connected, even on those regular days. Thank you for supporting us, and don't forget to subscribe and share it. Follow us on Instagram at the underscorewildflowerway and tag your moment. Hashtag theWildflowerWay.

Will 17:30

Happy Valentine's Day and hope you enjoyed what we said. Don't forget, consistency keeps the roses red.